Father, please forgive me.
I must confess my sin.
I knocked upon the gates of hell
And the devil let me in.
You know I missed last Sunday.
Although you don’t know why.
Told you I weren’t feeling well,
But Father, that's a lie!
That morning I was on my way.
I’d come to hear the word.
When suddenly a pain down deep,
I had to drop a turd.
The pain was overwhelming.
No time to find a store.
First house I saw I pulled right in,
I couldn’t take no more.
I pounded on the front door.
“Oh God! It’s coming quick!”
When she opened up to let me in,
The sight, it made me sick.
I never knew you lived there.
That I’d run into your wife.
But loaning me your toilet,
Felt like she saved my life.
Just when I’s nearly finished,
Your Mrs. barged right in.
Between the sight and smells around
More shocked, I’ve never been.
She stood there staring at me.
I returned a nervous smile.
Sweat beads upon my forehead,
My asshole, still on fire.
Finally, was her spoke first.
She said, “Your ass is mine.”
But before I even got a word,
Bitch had me in a bind.
Oh, Father please forgive me.
I know not what I do!
I knew the devil’d come for me,
Didn’t know she’d married you!
I know that I must tell you,
Of how I dicked her down.
But you should know I once was lost,
But Father, now I’m found!
I wish that I could go back.
That I had a second chance.
For if I could, I know I would,
I’d shit right in my pants.